Finding joy in the festive season

While the festive season can be a joyful time for many, it can also be a stressful and lonely time for others. You can, however, take steps to minimise those feelings by consciously planning to do things over the Christmas period that will hopefully make it a more positive experience. 

North Brisbane Psychologists Director, Dr Rachel Hannam, says anecdotally, many older people were lonely at Christmas. 

“Sometimes it was because they don’t have any family or friends left if they’re older, sometimes they’re estranged from family and friends, that’s a common story that I’ve heard. It’s very tragic but it does happen,” she says. 

“I’m imagining for a lot older citizens who are in care facilities or they’ve lost a lot of friends or a spouse, there is that loneliness.”

Dr Hannam encourages people to use technology to get together. 

“If they’re separated geographically, I’ve heard of families having Christmas lunch on Zoom and I think you can still play Christmas music, you can still see each other and have a joke and a laugh,” she says. 

“I believe there are people who host Christmas get-togethers online for people who are alone at Christmas. 

“My point being that there are ways that you can use technology, quite simple technologies like Zoom, to get together with loved ones and even strangers so we can have a bit of fun and not be lonely on Christmas— that’s one option. 

“Another option is volunteering. I had a client years ago who volunteered for a homeless service on Christmas Day and had a lovely day compared to the year before where he’d been alone at home. 

“He was helping to prepare food for people experiencing homelessness, so it helps to remember that there will be lots of people who will also be lonely... and try to find ways to connect with other people who may also be a bit lonely.”

Dr Hannam says people need to be very intentional and plan to avoid the loneliness over the festive season. 

“If it were me, I would be making a plan or two to maybe having a day trip to somewhere really beautiful. The roads aren’t busy on Christmas Day usually so if people wanted to go for a walk, go to the beach, and enjoy nature because a lot of things are closed, it kind of forces us to think about what else we can do. 

“Nature never closes, and it might be a good time to enjoy nature but whatever it is, make a plan, rent a video, go to the movies. Make a plan to do something meaningful or enjoyable, pleasant or productive on the day.” 

Dr Hannam says any planning should be done beforehand. 

“Don’t just wake up Christmas morning and think, ‘Oh it’s Christmas Day, how depressing'. What am I going to do today?’ You need to make a plan in advance. 

“Brainstorm a whole lot of things, whether it’s movies, crafts, nature, some pleasant or constructive activity that you can look forward to, otherwise people will be dreading Christmas Day. 

“But what if you could make Christmas Day a day to look forward to because you’ve planned something nice for yourself?”

Dr Hannam says being intentional and planful about what to do at Christmas is an important piece of the puzzle in avoiding loneliness.

Dr Hannam also advises against self-medicating with drugs or alcohol at Christmas. She says it's particularly important to be very deliberate and intentional about our use of alcohol. 

“This is what I try to do as well. I say, ‘I’m going to have three drinks over three to four hours and every second drink is going to be water,” she says. 

“I think if people make an intention or a plan beforehand, then they’re more likely to be mindful as opposed to mindless about it. 

“Definitely don’t write yourself off because you’re feeling lonely. Be prepared. Make a plan with healthier coping strategies.”

Greta’s experience was one shared by many. Around the world, Richard O’Brien’s wild and camp creation found an audience through the accessibility of the music. 

I remember listening to the soundtrack as a child, far too young to understand what the lyrics meant or that there might be anything subversive in their content.

My parents had loved the songs when the movie came out, and they passed this love on to me and my brother.

By the time we were ‘old’ enough to watch the film, we understood vaguely why we needed to close our eyes during the 'naughty' parts, but we were largely unfazed by this. My

brother and I were simply excited to watch the songs we loved come to life in the form of a story. This was an experience that Greta also shared when she was first able to see the

film in the early 80s.

“The themes of the story did not enhance my enjoyment of the movie but they did not detract from it either,” Greta says.

“At the age of 15, I was too wrapped up in the music. I loved singing along and confess that I didn’t really pay much attention to the underlying meaning of the lyrics.”

At its core, the main message of The Rocky Horror Show is one of unabashedly being exactly who you are, regardless of what that looks like. 

“For me…the overwhelming message is that we should have the freedom to be who and what we want to be," Greta says.

“Another important message is that of acceptance—we need to accept people for who and what they are."

This article is featured in National Seniors Australia’s quarterly member magazine, Our Generation. 

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