Concerns for ‘sandwich carers’
Radio series reveals the stress faced by middle-aged and older people who look after both their children and their parents.
Celebrating those who care
For National Carers’ Week, from 13-19 October, we are being urged to show our support for those who selflessly support others.
The theme is “Millions of Reasons to Care”, with the aim to broaden awareness of the three million Australians who care for their family members and friends.
Carers represent a diverse range of cultures, ages, experiences and responsibilities, but all of them balance caring responsibilities with other responsibilities such as work, study, and their own physical and mental health.
The organisers are encouraging Australians to hold an event to acknowledge the people who make an enormous contribution to our community and national economy.
Related reading: National Carers Week, Carers Australia
People who look after their ageing parents and children while holding down a job are the subject of a radio series that is sparking interest across the generations.
These “sandwich carers”, usually women, are the subject of a radio documentary series that is sparking interest across the generations.
Squished a helpful ABC Radio National Life Matters series that is available as a podcast, addresses the plight of people who find themselves caring for divergent generations, often without the necessary support and resources to adequately care for themselves.
The number of sandwich carers is on the rise because people are having children later, children are staying at home longer, and older people are living longer.
Experts interviewed on Life Matters say that is creating problems for these individuals and their family dynamics.
Women make up 91% of sandwich carers, and 40% of those women also have paid jobs. As people live longer, there are those who are caring for their ageing parents while being on the cusp of retiring themselves, or at least planning their retirement.
Michelle O’Shea, a senior lecturer at Western Sydney University’s school of business, who researches this type of care, says these people don’t always identify as being carers.
“It means they’re not necessarily reaching out for available workplace or government assistance, or even support and acknowledgement from within their own families,” she said.
“Women who are in the typical age bracket of the sandwich generation have the lowest life satisfaction scores in comparison to other women.”
Sandwich carers are less likely to have time to focus on positive health behaviours such as getting enough sleep, exercising, drinking less alcohol, or quitting cigarettes.
The effect of that could be profound, as the average caring span is around 12 years.
Experts interviewed on Squished gave their top tips for self-care for carers. Ageing parents, and the children of the carer, would do well to take note also.
Take care of your mental health
“That’s the best gift we can give to our family … Take responsibility for that, and then talk through with the important people in our life how the change is affecting us,” one expert said.
Identify small activities that bring joy and then turn them into habits or routines
These include improving your sleep schedule, committing to 30 minutes of physical activity every day, and ensuring at least one act of social connection each week - a phone call, a walk with a friend or attending a community event."
Don’t over-parent your parent
Don’t treat your parents as being less capable than they are. Treat them according to their competence, not their frailty.
Preserve your energy to keep going
Many carers find they can’t always rely on everyone in the family to help out. So, it’s important to make sure you don’t end up “decompensating”, which essentially means have a meltdown.
Preserve your energy by setting boundaries around what work you can and can’t take on. One expert said, “Oftentimes, the boundaries that are hardest to set are those that we set with ourselves, where we say, ‘Look, I’ve only got the energy to visit my parent in a care facility three times a week, rather than every single day’.”
Don’t shy away from “hard chats”
Having difficult conversations with those you care for can be tough. Carers need to talk to family members, not at them or about them.
“There are so many opportunities in relationships [when we are] going through a difficult time,” the expert said. “There are opportunities for growth in ourselves, so that we can contribute to those we care about."
Squished — The Sandwich Generation is a Life Matters series. Find all episodes here or on the ABC Listen app.
Related reading: ABC, Carer Gateway
